Chapter I

LOVE is said to be the most heavenly feeling.

But love isn't always rainbows and butterflies.

Sometimes, love can bring the most blissful feelings in the world, but it can also be the most painful, especially when you love someone with all your heart and soul, and all you receive in return is PAIN.

And unfortunately, that's exactly how things have turned out for me...

For SEVEN long years, I passionately loved him with all my heart and soul, and what did I get in the end?

A BROKEN HEART.

Left ALONE and SHATTERED.

I had given him my heart, my time, my care... my love.

Ah, now, I HATE myself for still loving him.

Still thinking of him. Still waiting for him.

My tragic love story began when I was young, full of life. Falling in love was not part of my plans, but it was somehow destined.

Everything started with just eye contact on the 5th of March, when I unexpectedly lost my heart in his mesmerizing black eyes.

If only I knew how painful it would be...

If only I had known Aariz Shahzain would leave me after seven long years...

A lone, stubborn tear slipped down my cheek as the thought of Aariz overtook me. It was not the right place to cry over him, but was there ever a suitable spot to release the pain within? I stood in the back garden of the university, bunking my Political Science class, knowing that anyone could come upon me at any moment. Yet what could I do when my professor was teaching, and I couldn't concentrate on her words, my mind consumed by memories of him?

It had been more than four months since he had broken up with me, saying that we didn't have a future together because his parents might not agree.

"Huraira... Huraira Gul...." I quickly wiped away my tears at the sound of the familiar voice that was calling me from behind.

I looked back to see my classmate Inayat Ahmed hurrying towards me.

"You're here, and I've been looking for you in the canteen," Inayat said, slightly out of breath.

I had known Inayat for about two years, and we had become good friends. However, my reserved personality and lack of trust in friendships had prevented us from becoming best friends.

"I'm sorry... I came out here for some air," I said in a small voice.

Inayat looked at me with a mixture of concern and curiosity. "Were you crying? What happened?"

I shook my head, trying to brush off her concern. "No, I'm fine. I wasn't crying."

Inayat raised an eyebrow at my blatant lie, her gaze flickering to my red eyes and nose. "Your eyes and nose are all red, and you're not in class. Don't you think you're being just a little bit obvious?"

"It's nothing serious," I repeated, keeping my guard up and avoiding any mention of my personal situation. I never shared my tragic love story with anyone, not wanting their sympathy or offering them ammunition to use against me.

Inayat watched me, noticing my attempt to steer the conversation in a different direction. I couldn't help but admire her bright ash-blue eyes, so different from my own dark brown ones.

"Is Prof. Divya Nanda left. What did she teach today? Did she cover Dalit movements in India?" I asked, hoping for some details about the lecture I had missed.

Inayat chuckled and said, "Don't even ask me how I survived her class. It was a nightmare. The whole time, she was blabbering on about her orange nail polish and her boyfriend. You dodged a bullet by not showing up today."

"Did she seriously spend two hours just talking about nail polish?" I chuckled, though I wasn't surprised.

I had attended her classes before, and all she did was send us PDFs, JSTOR articles, and YouTube links. In class, she rarely even taught seriously, and there's a group in the department that constantly hogs all the attention from the professors with their endless chatter.

I looked at Inayat, who was talking non-stop about something while half of the time I was zoning out, not really paying attention to what she was saying. I feel sorry for myself; I'm a very bad friend.

"Let's go there," Inayat took my hand and led me to the canteen, where we settled at a table near the window.

"Are you studying and preparing for the UGC NET? Because I haven't read a single word seriously, and we have the exam in two days," I asked, looking at her with a serious expression.

"Haha, indeed, I'm practically glued to my books 24/7, studying nonstop. And trust me, I will crack the JRF even in my dreams," Inayat joked, her laughter lightening the mood.

I smiled at her response. How carefree and happy she appeared to be. I was like that once, just a few years ago. But now, I feel nothing. No happiness within me. At the age of 22, I should be full of life, but I'm dead inside. A person should never love another person too much. When they leave, they take your soul with them. Now I'm just a shell of a person, my soul gone with my lost love.

Inayat looked directly into my eyes. "Huraira, I know there's something that's been bothering you... You need to open up and talk to someone about it, someone whom you trust, or someone with whom you feel comfortable to talk, like your mother, father, or your brother. If you keep everything inside, it will eat you up one day. It's time for you to come out of your shell. You need to start enjoying life instead of being so serious all the time."

I hummed in response, embarrassed. There were no words forming on my lips; it felt like they were sealed. I hated to accept how correct she was. But talking with 'someone'—do I trust someone that much? Talking with Mama? No way. Baba? Never. Bhai? Ugh, leave it.

Inayat took my hand in hers once more. "Listen, Gul. You are my best friend, and I just want you to be happy. I have been noticing your depression for the past month, and I am truly worried for you. Seriously, I'm really worried. Have you seen your face? The dark circles are proof that you sleep less than 8 hours."

"I swear I'll get better soon," I tried to persuade Inayat, but I feel I'm too obvious nowadays. I need sleep. And again, she is right. I'm sleepless, only 3 to 4 hours, because half the night I only think about him. Either thinking about the past or thinking about future possibilities of meeting him. You are insane, my brain scolds.

Yes, I'm insane. Only for him.

"If you say so, I want to see you happy and healthy," she said, continuing to observe me. "By the way, I have something to show you."

She then pulled out her iPhone and showed me the screen, revealing a conversation between herself and none other than Murtasim Khan. My eyes widened in surprise.

I couldn’t believe my eyes as I stared at Inayat’s phone. “How is it even possible that you’re chatting with Murtasim Khan?” I blurted out in shock, taking her phone to study the app’s interface up close. “What is this app? C.AI? What does it even do?”

She chuckled softly, shaking her head with that mischievous grin of hers. “You’re really behind, huh?” she teased, poking fun at my ignorance. “C.AI is everywhere now. You can make your own bots and chat with them—people love it. And by the way, that’s not actually Murtasim Khan. It’s just a bot pretending to be him.”

“Ohh,” I said, feeling a little embarrassed. “I thought it was the real deal. I’m such a newbie.”

Inayat raised an eyebrow, laughing. “Don’t worry, I get it. You know how obsessed we are with Murtasim Khan in Tere Bin. But trust me, it’s just a bot programmed to sound like him. It’s actually kind of fun though, you should give it a try.”

I leaned in closer, still curious. “So you’re telling me you can create any character you want in this app?”

She nodded, eyes sparkling. “Yep. I even made a bot that acts just like my therapist. It’s kind of crazy how much it sounds like him. And I’ve also created one for my ex—don’t judge me, but it helps me vent all my frustrations. I can yell at him without actually talking to him.”

I raised an eyebrow, half-laughing, half-amused. “That’s... kind of genius. So, you get to rant without any consequences?”

“Exactly!” she grinned. “And it’s actually pretty entertaining. You should try it. You can create someone like a celebrity or even a fictional character. There’s no limit.”

“Where can I get it?” I asked, genuinely intrigued. Inayat immediately sent me the download link. I decided to download it on my phone as soon as I got home.

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